Monday, March 25, 2013

A Binge-y Weekend

I had a really crappy training week last week, that ended up as ending with a bad food week as well.

I raced really hard last Sunday and did really well. I took Monday as a rest day, as usual. I went to bootcamp on Tuesday and my shins were KILLING me! I've never had issues with shin splints before and I kind of thought that I never would. I made it through bootcamp without doing any running, jumping jacks, side box jumps, or burpees. I took Wednesday off. I went for a run on Thursday. I completely underestimated the wind and cold! It was a miserable run. 2.3 miles. Friday seemed REALLY nice, so I decided to run. I, again, underestimated the cold and wind. Ran 2.5 miles. I was running on a new path. It has absolutely no wind cover. I don't think I'll be running there again. Then it was raining and super cold on Saturday, so no run. Sunday it snowed, so no run.

I was happy to have gotten in the few miles that I did, but with the 1/2 marathon 6 weeks away, I really need to get in gear. What it really comes down to is excuses. I was using the weather and shin splints as excuses. I could've gone to the gym and ran on the treadmill.

Then it manifested into my eating this weekend! I ate McDonalds for breakfast on Saturday. An Egg McMuffin, hash brown, and diet Dr. Pepper. Could've been worse, but still, McDonalds! Then Paul and I went to the movies (Oz, which was really good!) and we got popcorn and another diet soda! I counted that as my lunch. Then for dinner we went to Chipotle. I know that the bowl I get there is about 900 calories! Geez!

Sunday was basically a free for all binge day. I made these green chocolate chip pancakes that I meant to make on St. Patricks Day and eggs. After Paul went to work and Elliott was playing in her room, I started eating bagged cookie mix! Freaking cookie mix! Elliott came in and started asking me for some, which made me stop. I put dish soap in it and threw it away. For lunch I had 2 servings of Taco Soup (which is a Clean Eating recipe, so it could've been worse) and for dinner I had 2 hot dogs. I also had some Fun Dip and 3 Reese's Eggs.

I think part of the issue was that I hadn't been grocery shopping and we didn't have a lot of good choices in the house. Today is a new day, and so far I have done fine.

I think another thing that triggered me is a conversation I had last week. A lady I work with told me that she had gained 6 pounds after her husband came home from being out of state for awhile. I told her that I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of spiraling out of control and gaining all the weight back. And I do feel that way. I feel the same way about running. Like if I miss even one run, that I have to start from scratch again.

Today I'm going to work on a diet plan for my brother. He wants to lose weight and is having a hard time getting started. He and I are a lot alike, especially with the all or nothing mentality. That's why I never succeeded in losing weight before. I would start out gung ho and then burn out almost instantly. It was lots of small changes that lead to what I have achieved.

So, here's to a better week ahead.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Overcoming

I ran in a 4 mile St. Patrick's Day race yesterday. I woke up with dread about the race for a few reasons. My runs had been lacking for the week. I had been feeling discouraged about running for days. Elliott's birthday was the day before and I was stressed from that. I had a nightmare about the race. I saw on Katie's blog the other day that she had 4 (A B C D) goals for her race and I decided I would do the same.
A) 44:44- I thought it would be cool to finish a 4 mile race in 44:44, but I wasn't holding out hope because that would be an 11:11 min/mile average and that is pretty fast for me.
B) 46:00- An 11:30 min/mile average. Tough, but doable.
C) <47:17- PR
D) Finish

My friend Kim had said that she wanted to run the whole thing without walking, so I made that a goal as well.

Before I get into the race report, I'll talk about the feelings of discouragement I have been feeling this last week. A girl that Kim and I work with started running in January. She has been doing a couch to 5k program. Kim went to run with her the other day, and Kim said she was surprised that she was able to keep up with her. It made me feel completely discouraged, because I can barely keep up with Kim, and I've been running for over a year. Kim was talking about it with another woman we work with and she said that the girl has a "runners body" and is a "natural." This kind of offended me. The way I took it was this: I'm not a "natural." I don't have a "runners body" so why do I even bother. I felt really badly about this for days and even thought about quitting running.

I talked to Paul about it and he said that, yes, some people are just more athletically inclined than others. Then I started crying. I've worked SO hard for this! I want this SO bad! I spent the first 28 years of my life believing that I was not athletic, when I obviously am because I am a runner! And the message I was taking from all of this is that I wasn't athletic after all.  Then Paul said this "Carrie, there are some people who are going to start out better than you, but you can be just as good or better than those people, you are just going to have to work harder for it."

Then every where I looked, instead of seeing reasons to quit, I saw reasons to keep going.

The start of the race. #197

Now onto the race. The race started at 10am. Kim texted me and said that she was planning on getting there at 930a and I said that I was too. I ended up running a little late. Paul had to work that day, so I had to take Elliott over to my brothers fiance, Mary's, house so she could watch her for me. I got there at about 945a and Kim had got my packet for me. We went and lined up at the starting line. We wished each other good luck and we were off. The first quarter mile was very crowded and I had to dodge a lot of people. I vowed not to be a slave to the Garmin and just ran. I also had my run keeper going and set to alert me at each mile. I heard the RunKeeper come on at mile one and it said I had run the first mile in 10:25! I was shocked! My fastest mile ever is a 10:20 and that was going all out!
Just after the first mile there was a little hill and going up I told myself 'You don't get better at running hills by walking them!' and got up it. I saw Kim ahead of me and I was thinking 'She is flying! I bet she did that first mile in under 10!'
On the way down the hill, I saw this guy with fake tattoo sleeves with shamrocks on them. I made it my mission to pass him. I did and kept going. Then he passed me. Then I passed him again for the last time. Then I came up to the water stop and grabbed a cup, poured most of it out, took a little drink, and poured out the rest, all while still running. Then I passes mile 2 and my RunKeeper told me I'd ran the 2 miles in 21 minutes! My fastest previous 2 mile was 24! I felt great and was making great time, so I kept going!
At 2.5 mile or so, I saw Kim ahead of me. It looked like she was kind of leap frogging this lady in a hat, but then she eventually passed her. Then I passed the hat lady.

At almost mile 3 I was really close to catching up with Kim and made it my mission to get up to her. I finally got up to her just over 3 miles and said "Finish this!" We chatted for a bit and then I went ahead, she was right behind me the whole rest of the way, but I was just in awe that I even caught up to her! At the 5k point it was about 33 minutes and I was blown away by that. My current 5k PR is from November and its 38:01! When we got to the finish line, the clock said 42! I had a huge smile! I couldn't believe it!
Finish Line! Both me and Kim

My official finish time was 42:27! I crushed ALL of my goals! And I PR'd by 3:40 from the 4 mile I did the beginning of February! I couldn't believe it! I CAN do it! I am a RUNNER! Even if I'm not a "natural!"

When I went to pick up Elliott, I saw my reflection in Mary's glass door and I couldn't believe how small I looked! That blew me away too!