Tuesday, December 27, 2011

It's Over!

Xmas is finally over! I'm so glad!

Last Friday at work, Taylor brought these cupcakes. I had one. It was good. But I kept thinking about them ALL day! I hate that. I put up a post it note on my desk and on the cupcake plate that said: It's my choice and my choice is NO! It actually helped! Kara came up to me later and told me that the note helped her too, and that's what made me even more happy!

We celebrated with Paul's family on Friday. It was a really good time. I got a food processor, a tea kettle, and Just Dance 3 for Wii! I loved all my gifts, except for the enormous box of chocolate that his dad gave us. I'm doing pretty well with it though. My daughter got a wagon, an Elmo ride on airplane toy, a picnic basket toy, a build a bear cow, some clothes, and a few other things. Christmas Eve was pretty uneventful. Elliott, Paul, and I made cookies for Santa. 
Helping Daddy mix the batter.

Mix Mix Mix!
Mix it up!
Ready to go into the oven (that is my new tea kettle!)
We didn't have any baking soda, so I used baking powder. The cookies came out like this, lol! They still tasted okay... Santa didn't mind!

Christmas morning Elliott opened her presents from Mommy, Daddy, and Santa. She got a play kitchen from Santa. From Daddy and I, she got some play food, a couple of books, a Strawberry Shortcake movie, a cute plush Cinderella doll, a stuffed monkey with a blanket, and some socks and stuff in her stocking. It was a good uneventful day!

I've been playing my Just Dance game and I love it! It's a great workout!

I weigh in tomorrow at WW. Then next Wednesday is our first clinic and group run for the S2F running program. I'm excited to start and work towards more goals.

Elliott is supposed to be napping right now, but I can hear her in her room playing. I better go see what she is doing....

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Goal Clothes

I got off of work really early today (10am) and I went to sign up for the Start 2 Finish running program. I got my shoe fitting and my shoes also. I got Nike+ Zoom Structure. I really like them and they feel fantastic! I can't wait to run in them. What really surprised me is that they are a size 8.5! I have never, ever worn any size even close to that! My normal size is a 6.5-7, 7-7.5 since I had my daughter. He said that it was typical for your running shoes to be bigger.

After that I went to the Goodwill and got some stuff! I got a Biggest Loser T-shirt, a Mizuno "tech" shirt, some New Balance running pants, some adidas pants (that are WAY to small! They said XL, but I think they might be children's pants lol!) And I got some goal clothes. I got a couple pairs of jeans, one is a size 16 and one is a 14. I got a size L goal dress. And I got a goal shirt and sweater. I also got a couple of books for Elliott and a hat for Paul. He probably won't like it, but we'll see. I got him a pair of jeans at the Goodwill recently and they were his normal size, but since they were "fashion jeans" (as he called them) they were super tight on him! It was almost inappropriate! I told him that they could be his goal jeans. He said that his goal jeans would be 10x bigger because his goal is to get to 500 pounds and then to go on the Biggest Loser and win. He is silly!

Tonight we are going to my brother's girlfriends house. They have gifts for Elliott. Then tomorrow is Paul's family Xmas. Then we'll have Elliott open her gifts Saturday and Sunday. Then Xmas is OVER! And I will have made it through the holiday season 16 pounds lighter than I started it, which BLOWS MY MIND!

I also need to have Paul take an updated picture of me, because I have lost 10 pounds from my official before picture. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Visit from the Scale Fairy

I couldn't believe I lost 1.2# this week! That's twice as much as last week! I was pleasantly surprised! I even ate a little before the weigh in, which I usually do not do!

I am such a dumbass! I was making dinner and I guess I forgot to turn a burner off because when I reached across the oven and my belly touched it, it burned through my shirt and left a little burn mark on my belly. I was so mad! This is my favorite shirt!

I got a flier in the mail today about the free joiner fee for the YMCA right now! I was super excited! I have been wanting to join, but I told myself that I would wait until they had a free joiner deal. And next week is bring a friend week, and my brother is a member, so I asked him if he would bring me and he said yes! He said he has been working on running too!

That's all for now... Stupid stove!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It's Almost Over!

I have not been doing so great the past couple of weeks. Last week at weigh-in, I only lost 0.6#. Boo! Since then I have not done so great. We had our holiday party at work, we had a cookie decorating girls night, and then yesterday was Trail Mix day at work. I haven't gone completely off plan, but I have not been tracking like I normally do, AND I have indulged much more than I would have liked to AND I haven't been exercising AT ALL. I'll be surprised if I don't have a gain tomorrow :(

I'm not totally off the wagon though. I starting tracking again today. And next Wednesday is the start of the beginners running program that Kim and I are doing. I'm so excited about it.

I'm so excited for this week to be over. Then I'll have survived Holiday Season of 2011. We get all kinds of goodies from clients and other businesses that we do business this time of year and it's so tempting! Even though I have been indulging some, I have done astronomically better than my "usual" self.

Well, here's to another week.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Have you lost some weight?

Today I hit a milestone that I didn't even know about. I had someone finally noticed my weight loss! One of the women I work with said "You look like you are losing weight!" I was so excited that my hard work is finally coming to light. I have an image on my desk top that has a scenery picutre and says: "It takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing, 8 weeks for your friends to notice, and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to notice. Give it 12 weeks. Don't Quit." I feel like it is ringing true as well!

Next Thursday is our company Xmas party. We are going to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I'm excited about the show, but not so much on the dinner. I wish I could just not focus so much on the food, but it seems like it's every which way I turn. Especially since it's "Holiday Time." Before, I felt like the holidays lasted until March. It was Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas, my birthday, Paul's birthday, Elliott's birthday, and then I was going to try to start losing weight. I've made a big "discovery" this year in realizing that Between Oct 31 and Mar 17, those occasions are only 6 days, not 6 months. There is no need to be a pig the rest of the time as well.

I started my 4 weeks to 1 mile running plan yesterday. While I was running, I kept telling myself "Don't let your head give out before your legs give out!" and it actually helped. This first week I start with a 5 minute warm up walk, run for 45 secs then walk for 2 mins (and do that 4 more times) then a 5 minute cool down walk. Yesterday, I felt incredible afterwards! My goal is to be able to run 1 mile on my birthday (January 9).

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I had a weigh in today and I was down 1.4#. Not much, but I was surprised that it was that much considering the weekend food debacle. The WW meeting was PACKED today! Usually there are only about 6 people, but today there were close to 25!

At work, we always get a cake on everyone's birthday. Stephanie's birthday is tomorrow and she is off, so we had her cake today. I didn't have any of the cake, nor did I want any. I usually LOVE cake, but it was carrot cake, which I'm not crazy about. So I ate 2 clementines while everyone else had enormous pieces of cake! I was truly happy and proud! Before, I would've eaten a piece, even though I don't really like it.

Yesterday I made some lentil and veggie soup in the slow cooker for lunches this week. I had some for the first time today and it was SO good! I'd never (to my knowledge) had lentils before, but I like them very much. They are so filling! And they are on a list of the top 5 healthiest foods.

Here's to a great week!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Last weekend Paul, Elle, and I went to St. Louis with Paula (my MIL) and Melanie (Paul's sister, my SIL). His grandma has been in the hospital and they were moving her from the hospital to a nursing home. She is 95 years old and has lived in her own apartment before now. We went to help clean out her apartment, and to visit. Neither Paul, nor I have seen her in about 6 years. It was nice for us to see her again, and for her to meet our daughter.

I have to say that I do have the best child ever! Out of the 16 hours we were driving, she slept about 4 of them, and the other 12, she was the most well behaved 20 month old of all time!

I was nervous about going, because of the eating. I knew that they would probably being eating fast food every meal. Bleh! I anticipated this ahead of time, so I ate half of a wrap from my lunch Friday before we left. And guess where the first stop was? McDonalds. I said "I haven't eaten McDonalds in over 2 months!" and Paul said "Neither have I, and I've been craving a McDouble!" He had two... skinny bastard! Melanie kept asking if I as sure that I didn't want anything. I assured her that I was SURE!

Both mornings, his aunt (who we stayed with) made a HUGE breakfast. I ate way more calories than my normal oatmeal, but I still stayed on plan. For lunch the Saturday they got White Castle, and I had an order or sweet potato fries and half of the "chicken rings" that I ordered. That night for dinner they were wanting to get fast food again, but I asked them to stop at a grocery store for me. I had grapes, a yogurt, and some almonds. I ended the trip eating WAY more than I would've liked to (because of the breakfasts) but was still within my points, using some of my weekly allowance.

Melanie was asking what keeps me motivated and I didn't know what to tell her. It is just something that has manifested within. I mean, when I was planning my wedding, I bought a dress that was 2 sizes to small and had a year to lose weight for it. I had to have the dress taken out. If you even a wedding can't motivate you to lose weight, than nothing will. It is truly something that has to come from within.

It's weird, because I can tell that they don't expect me to follow through and actually lose the weight this time. But this time is different. I don't know how or why, but it is. I can't wait to prove them all wrong. To show them all how strong I am. I'm willing to work for it. I know I can do it.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Okay, so I survived Thanksgiving week with a loss of 1.4#. I was hoping for more, buy any loss is a good loss.

I also survived the Thanksgiving 5k! We walked almost all of it, but we did do a bit a running and we also dashed to the finish, mostly because the clock was very close to the 1hr mark and my goal was to finish in under an hour, mainly because Paul said that I could not. My official time was 56.52 and I came in 899th place out of 927. Paul and Elliott were there to cheer me on! There were a couple of people running the race that had on shirts that said "Earn the Turkey" and I liked that! Kim and I are going to do the Frosty 5k on January 1st and I'm hoping to run a lot more of it. Kim has been a HUGE supporter of mine and I'm so glad that she is helping keep me motivated! Yesterday at my WW meeting, I told them that I ran the 5k on Thanksgiving and they gave me a charm that said 5k on it! I thought it was awesome and I like it very much!

Kim before the race.

Kim texting Bekki and telling her to get here already!

Bekki doing her 80s stretches Kim and Bekki (I love this photo!)

Bekki, Kim and I before the race.

Kim and I dashing to the finish! Notice the 58:20 on the clock!

Crossing the finish line!

Celebrating! (I hate how I look in this one, but love the fact that I'm not going to look like that forever!)

Bekki finishing

Me, Bekki, and Kim after the race

Elliott, Me, Bekki, and Kim after finishing!

I earned my 5% at WW yesterday! I was so excited! I was hoping to earn it the week before, but I missed by 0.6#. On to 10% now.

The other day I asked Paul if I looked any smaller to him and he said that I didn't. I didn't really expect him to. It's hard to see gradual change in someone that you see every day. When I saw my mom at Thanksgiving, she said that I looked a lot smaller. She hadn't seen me since the end of September. I had been posting pictures of my walks on Facebook every day and she told me that she had started walking on the treadmill!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


November 7, 2011 243#

 December 21, 2011 233#
I had my WW meeting today and I lost 5.2# this week! I was so very excited! I got my first 5# sticker and I'm so proud! I've also exercised 5 days in a row!

I'm going to register to do the Thanksgiving 5k in my town. I won't be running, of course, but it's on my way to my goals. I want to be able to RUN the River Run which is a 5k in June. My friends, Kim and Bekki, are going to walk the 5k with me. I'm so excited!

Today at work, there was left over birthday cake from a birthday yesterday when I was off. I LOVE cake! It's my favorite food ever. I lasted until about 3pm, then I looked to see if there was any left. There was one piece and I decided to eat it. I knew I wouldn't be bingeing on it because it was the last piece. I ate it and it was good, but I felt like shit afterwards. Not about eating it, but physically, I felt like shit. I had this huge sugar rush and it did not feel good.

In other news, I can't believe my daughter still has Halloween candy left! I haven't had any in over a week! I feel like I'm making great strides!

Here's to another awesome week!

Monday, November 7, 2011


I decided on some fitness goals as well as weight loss goals.

#1: Run 1/4 mile  achieved 1/2/12
#2: Run 1/2 mile
#3: Run 1 mile
#4: Run a 5K

I have just started exercising, so these goals are are ways off, but I feel like they are eventually reachable.

We got the Wii Fit on Saturday and I played on it for an hour. I played on it another hour on Sunday as well as taking Elliott to the zoo and walking the zoo for 2 hours. This morning I got up and did 30 minutes of Wii before work, shopped for workout clothes on my lunch break instead of sitting, then did 10 minutes of step on the Wii after work. I want to try to start running/walking 3 days a week. I'm going to do Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday.

I still feel highly motivated. However, I'm still struggling not to binge eat. The evenings are the hardest for me.

I had my husband take an "official" before photo of me tonight. But these photos were my wake up calls. They were taken October 2nd, 2011. I weigh around 260# in these.

I can't wait to weigh in on Wednesday!

Sunday, November 6, 2011


SW: 260# (10/1)
WW SW: 249.2# (10/26) (-10.8)

11/2: 246.4 (-2.8) (-13.6)
11/9: 241.2 (-5.2) (-18.8)
11/16: 241.2 (-0) (-18.8)
11/23: 237.8 (-3.4) (-22.2)
11/30: 236.4 (-1.4) (-23.6)
12/7: 234.8 (-1.6) (-25.2)
12/14: 234.2 (-0.6) (-25.8)
12/21: 233.0 (-1.2) (-27)
12/28: 234.0 (+1) (-26) 

1/4: 230.6 (-3.4) (-29.4)
1/11: 228.4 (-2.2) (-31.6)
1/18: 226.2 (-2.2) (-33.8)
1/25: 224.8 (-1.4) (-35.2)
2/1: 222.8 (-2.0) (-37.2)
2/8: 220.2 (-2.6) (-39.8) 
2/15: 218.8 (-1.4) (-41.2) 
2/22: 217.4 (-1.4) (-42.6) 
2/29:  216.0 (-1.4) (-44)
3/7: 213.8 (-2.2)  (-46.2)
3/16: 212.4 (-1.4) (-47.6) 
3/25: 212.8 (+0.4) (-47.2) 
4/1: 210.8 (-2.0)  (-49.2)
4/9: 215.6 (+5.8) (-43.4)
4/16: 209.0 (-6.6) (-51) 
4/23: 205.6 (-3.4) (-54.4) 
4/30: 204.2 (-1.4) (-55.8) 
5/7: 206.6 (+2.4) (-53.4) 
5/14: 202.2 (-4.4) (-57.8) 
5/21: 204.2 (+2.0) (-55.8) 
5/:28: 199.8 (-4.4) (-60.2) 
6/17: 197.4 (-2.4) (-62.6)
6/28: 194.6 (-2.8) (-65.4)
12/12: 188.8 (-5.8) (-71.2)

1/21: 187.4 (-1.4) (-72.6)
1/28: 184.2 (-3.2) (-75.8)
2/4: 181.4 (-2.8) (-78.6)
2/25: 180.0 (-1.4) (-80)

#1: 239# (9 months pregnant) (-21#) (goal 11/17/11) achieved 11/23/11
#2: 237# (WW 5%) (-23#) (goal 12/17/11) achieved 11/30/11
#3: 230# (Pre pregnancy Wt)(-30#) (goal 1/17/12)achieved 1/11/12
#4: 225# (WW 10%) (-35#) (goal 2/17/12) achieved 1/25/12
#5: 219# (Highest wt ever, post wedding) (-41#) (goal 3/17/12) achieved 2/15/12
#6: 210# (Highest wt ever, pre wedding/50# lost) (-50#) (goal 4/17/12) achieved 4/16/12

#7: 199# (Under 200#) (-61#) (goal 5/17/12) achieved 5/28/12
#8: 195# (Half way to goal!) (-65#) (goal 6/17/12) achieved 6/28/12
#9: 190# (Wedding wt) (-70#) (goal 7/17/12) achieved summer/fall of 2012
#10: 180# (Post pregnancy wt loss) (-80#) (goal 1/9/13)  achieved 2/25/13
#11: 170# (Less than husband wt) (-90#) (3/17/13)
#12: 160# (1st Goal Wt) (-100#) (5/5/13)
#13: 150# (2nd Goal Wt) (-110#) (7/17/13)
#14: 140# (3rd Goal Wt) (-120#) (9/17/13)
#15: 130# (Half My Size!) (-130#) (11/17/13)

WW Weigh-In Week 1

I had my Weight Watchers weigh-in on Wednesday 11/2 and I weighed in at 246.4 which is a loss of 2.8#! I was surprised it was that much because I (over)indulged in some of my daughters Halloween candy. However, this week I have stayed motivated and am making strides in eating and exercise. I haven't had any candy since Wednesday, but I have had some cookies...

I have been thinking about getting a Wii Fit and Balance Board for our Wii for some time. I looked at them online yesterday morning and it was about $100. Not in my budget right now. So, I looked on craigslist and found one for $30. And I bought it. I did 60 minutes on it last night and first thing this morning. I burned around 300 calories at each work out. It is pretty fun to do. We will see if it helps out my weigh in for this week. My favorite is the kung fu!

Well, here's to a great week!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Let me tell you how I got here.

I've struggled with my weight for about as long as I can remember. Even when I wasn't REALLY fat, I always felt fat. I can remember being in the 4th grade and telling my best friend that I was embarrassed because I had to start wearing bra because my boobs were getting bigger and she said "Yeah, that's because you're chunky!" It turned a horrifying moment, even more horrifying. (BTW, she has always been stick skinny and still doesn't have boobs to this day!) That was the day that I became The Chubby Girl, to myself. I always thought of my friends as "The Pretty Ones" because they were skinny, and I was "The Chubby Girl". No boys ever liked me, or so I thought. Why would they like me when they compare me to my friends.

In the 6th grade there was this boy in my gym class that always called me "Fattie". How rude? I would always have to make myself not cry and act like it didn't bother me, but I'm pretty sure it helped shape the way I feel about my body, even today.

The summer before 7th grade I made a diet and work out plan that I gathered out of a teen magazine. I would rollerblade on our back patio for hours at a time and track everything I ate. I would also walk down our street and alternate between walking a house length and running a house length. I don't know if I lost any weight or not. Even if I did, I still felt like I was huge.

I remember shopping for clothes for 8th grade. It was the first time my mom ever let me pick out my own stuff. We went to The Buckle and I remember trying on jeans. I wore a size 7 or 9 depending on the brand. I was so embarrassed about those numbers because my best friend was in a 1 or 3. I So wish I could go back there and talk to myself. I'd tell myself that not everyone is a size 3 and it's okay if you aren't.

I was pretty much the same size from 8th grade all though out high school. I remember in 9th grade getting weighed at the doctor and I was 156 pounds. The doctor said I should probably lose some weight.

After high school I remember being 20 and weighing 173 pounds. I though this was out of control. My roommate and I began a diet and starting doing Tae Boe every day. I lost 8 pounds before giving up.

A year later I moved to the town my boyfriend lived in. I was 185 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers and Curves with my roommate. I didn't last long.

I moved in with my boyfriend at 21 and I was now 195 pounds. I didn't know how to cook, he didn't know how to cook, so we ate fast food every night.

At 23 we got engaged, I was 210 pounds. The biggest I'd ever been. The year of our engagement, I lost 20 pounds and got married at 190 pounds and 24 years old.

In the 6 months following our wedding I got up to 219. Now the biggest I'd ever been, and I didn't stop there.

The summer of 2009, I was 25. Paul and I decided we were going to try to get pregnant. In my head, I thought I was way too heavy to get pregnant, so I thought we would try for 3 months, then I would have to lose some weight. I wanted a baby so bad, so I though I would actually lose weight this time. Much to my surprise, we got pregnant the first month we tried. I was extremely happy, but now I was going to GAIN even more weight. At my first OB visit they weighed me and I was 230 pounds. Wow. Not to mention the nurse said the number out loud and now my husband knew how much I weighed. I almost cried at that. Of course he always knew I was big, I mean, we're at an OB appointment, he's obviously seen me naked, but he never knew the number and now he did.

When the doctor came in to see us she addressed my weight. She told me that I needed to gain only 10-15 pounds through out my pregnancy. How in the hell was I going to do that. I'd known pregnant people and the least I'd ever heard of gaining was 35 pounds with the most being 95 pounds. I felt like I was doomed. I told myself that I would aim to only gain 25.

But then it seemed like magic started to happen. Instead of gaining weight, I started losing weight! I got down to 219 before I started gaining again. At every appointment my doctor would tell that I was doing such a good job with my weight and that she was so proud of me! But I wasn't even trying. The day I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, I was 239. So I'd gained 7 pounds from my pre pregnancy weight. I was thrilled!

After having Elliott, I lost 18 pounds the first week, taking me to 223. The weight was just falling off. By the time Elliott was 4 months old, I weighed 189 pounds. I'd lost 50 pounds without even trying! Then I stopped breastfeeding. Then the weight came back on.

Today, my daughter is 19 months old. Today I am 27 years old and weigh 249 pounds. In the last month, I've weighed 260 pounds.

I've started Weight Watchers again (probably for the 5th time). I am finally ready to lose weight! I am going to chronicle my journey, keep myself accountable, and seek out support. Thanks for reading!