Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Last weekend Paul, Elle, and I went to St. Louis with Paula (my MIL) and Melanie (Paul's sister, my SIL). His grandma has been in the hospital and they were moving her from the hospital to a nursing home. She is 95 years old and has lived in her own apartment before now. We went to help clean out her apartment, and to visit. Neither Paul, nor I have seen her in about 6 years. It was nice for us to see her again, and for her to meet our daughter.

I have to say that I do have the best child ever! Out of the 16 hours we were driving, she slept about 4 of them, and the other 12, she was the most well behaved 20 month old of all time!

I was nervous about going, because of the eating. I knew that they would probably being eating fast food every meal. Bleh! I anticipated this ahead of time, so I ate half of a wrap from my lunch Friday before we left. And guess where the first stop was? McDonalds. I said "I haven't eaten McDonalds in over 2 months!" and Paul said "Neither have I, and I've been craving a McDouble!" He had two... skinny bastard! Melanie kept asking if I as sure that I didn't want anything. I assured her that I was SURE!

Both mornings, his aunt (who we stayed with) made a HUGE breakfast. I ate way more calories than my normal oatmeal, but I still stayed on plan. For lunch the Saturday they got White Castle, and I had an order or sweet potato fries and half of the "chicken rings" that I ordered. That night for dinner they were wanting to get fast food again, but I asked them to stop at a grocery store for me. I had grapes, a yogurt, and some almonds. I ended the trip eating WAY more than I would've liked to (because of the breakfasts) but was still within my points, using some of my weekly allowance.

Melanie was asking what keeps me motivated and I didn't know what to tell her. It is just something that has manifested within. I mean, when I was planning my wedding, I bought a dress that was 2 sizes to small and had a year to lose weight for it. I had to have the dress taken out. If you even a wedding can't motivate you to lose weight, than nothing will. It is truly something that has to come from within.

It's weird, because I can tell that they don't expect me to follow through and actually lose the weight this time. But this time is different. I don't know how or why, but it is. I can't wait to prove them all wrong. To show them all how strong I am. I'm willing to work for it. I know I can do it.

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