Sunday, January 29, 2012

I Cried All Day

There is no way I'm going to be able to run tomorrow. Today my ankle hurts so much worse than yesterday and it is super swollen and bruised. I've continued to ice it, wear my compression sock, take ibuprofen, elevate.

I think I'm finally done crying about it now. I've accepted that I'll probably be about a week behind in my training schedule, but I'll be back up with everyone eventually.

I watched "The Spirit of a Marathon" today and cried. I talked about my foot and cried. And read a story of a local baby (a week older than Elliott) that died today (had Leukemia) and cried.

The baby dying is what really made me get over my pity party about my ankle. I kept imagining those parents and what they are going through. Just thinking about it is horrifying.

I recently had a dream that Elliott was a teeny tiny baby again and had to have surgery. I was watching the surgery and lots of things were going wrong. Next think I knew, I was carrying a basket with a pink ribbon tied around it (presumably her body was in the basket, though I never saw it) and I was carrying it up to these stairs on this sidewalk when I dropped to the ground and started crying. Even in the dream, the grief was so overwhelming that I woke up crying so hard I woke Paul up. He asked what was wrong and I said "I had a bad dream! Go get Elliott!" And he did and I felt better that my little girl was in my arms. I wish for that family that it was all a dream.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry that your ankle is doing so poorly. I'm glad that you could cry today and hold your baby.

    R.I.C.E are good. You will be back on your feet and training again soon. I hope you could find some arnica as well. that will really help with the swelling and bruising.